Past Musings


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:: Roam Noth::
:: Tom::
:: Mira::
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Thursday, November 28, 2002

Hey, look, it's Thanksgiving. This year has gone so fast. Hmph. Maybe I am drowning in all the homework, assignments, problems, issues, loves, hates, emails, blogs, and IMs. Probably. But anyway, I kind of forgot that on Thanksgiving you're supposed to give thanks for stuff but Kangway reminded me, so here's the stuff I'm thankful for:

-All the normal junk like food, shelter, yada yada yada
-The fact that *everyone* doesn't hate me
-My cello seeming to stay in tune during convenient times
-No injuries (although I can't say it would be so bad if I did, considering it would get me out of PE)
-The spiffy song we're singing in Japanese
-Candy canes
-Japanese in general
-Not being sick (of the body, I can't say much about my mind...)
-The fact that my email is fairly reliable
-People I like
-No school

I guess I'm done. If I remember any more I will add them later. I'm not really giving much thanks but that's ok... hehe. Thanks to whoever makes my life convenient :) Anyway, now to try to say something interesting...

Sometimes I drown in my socks. Haha that was so interesting. I tricked you! Or maybe I didn't. Are you just so cool that you wouldn't fall for that? Hmm... Well all I'm going to say is that kodomo wa oishii desu ne. Football wa dai dai kirai desu. And anata wa baka desu yo ne!!!!!!!!!

I have a bunch of stuff to say and I'm sure it will come out all funny. Anyway today I saw the Harry Potter movie. It was decent, but I guess I never tire of sitting in a dark movie theater for 2 hours. Anyway, this morning though, all I did in my boredom is read Tom's blog. It is quite interesting and probably the most interesting one I have ever read. However, that is about 3 so it's not such a compliment. I do comment though, that he is probably one of the happiest people I know. I'm not sure if I can even consider him my friend, for we never talk except occasionally online or at a party, and sometimes at school. But from what I can tell from his "inner thoughts" he seems happier than most of my friends. I'm not sure why this is. I have noticed that most people I know claim they hate their life and that they will never be happy until ______ happens. I wonder if it is their personality or their bad luck. Is there an escape? Can they ever enjoy themselves? I do get to be happy on a day-to-day basis, and why don't they? I don't think I have come to accept anything that they haven't. Maybe it is my naivety. But it seems so strange that many of the people closest to me cannot enjoy a night sitting on the couch and watching movies with their friends. I know what I am trying to say came out all wrong. I hate english. What a horrid language. So many words and so few ways to express yourself. I have really quite come to like Japanese much better. It could be the "grass is greener on the other side" thing, or it could be the fact that I like Asians. Or maybe the pretty writing style. But after a year of Japanese, many of their expressions seem just as natural to me as those in english. I have to stop myself from asking my Non-Japanese-Taking classmates what the "shukudai" is and remember that it is homework. Or explain myself when I say "sou desu."

Anyway I am getting away from what I wanted to get at. Yes, I am blaming English. Yes, I realize that it is stupid to blame a language for your bad writing style. Anyway what I wanted to talk about again is happiness. No one is perfect, so can anyone be happy? I don't really know. It seems that it is human nature to strive for more, no matter what you have already reached. The rich want even more wealth. Where do you stop? At death? You were never happy. You were always in a race with yourself. Another thing I wanted to mention is the pickiness that people are with the people they like. Maybe it's not pickiness, maybe it's just idealization. My friend Angelina is currently in love with Bean from Ender's Shadow. I doubt she minds me saying this because constantly she yells that she is in love with Bean. I am imagining if he magically came to life and met her. That would certainly be interesting. As long as that can't happen, you're stuck with the people that exist. And most of them suck. You can't find a perfect match. I doubt you can even get close. But then again, after reading Sophie's World by Jostein Gaarder, my view about stuff like this has become more interesting. Everyone, go read the book. Yes, it's long and it's thick and you'd rather watch WB, but read it anyway. I really don't get the fascination with TV anyway. I understand it with the web, for I am a complete web addict. Well it's not so horrible. It's not a drug. The worst that it can do is give me carpal tunnel syndrome or a headache. And maybe distort my views of my friends a little bit. I used to watch more TV. I have decided that it is thoroughly useless. Not even fun. Movies are fun. There's a whole story unfolding before your eyes and then you are done. DONE. The TV series keeps going. You miss episodes and you catch some. They can be entertaining for the half hour, but they are a complete waste of time. Nothing is accomplished. I don't feel that the internet is like that. Another thing is that I think I am very... how can I say this... obsessed with individualism. I like certain people obviously. But then I really hate the rest of the world. I see little details, but not the big picture. Maybe that is why I am able to do well in school. The big picture is taught to us, and little details are also required. There isn't enough time to teach details in class, you have to figure them out on your own. They teach the big picture. And it all comes together. It could also be why I have such a bad sense of direction. I see the buildings, individually. I see a street. I see the end of the street, and I see another street. I don't see how the streets are near each other, and I don't see directions. I can memorize the path, but not the area. Well this is all I'm doing for now, I'm going to go dry my hair more. Maybe my Thanksgiving dinner will be mildly interesting.

But I doubt that will happen, considering I don't even like turkey.

mo posted at 10:13 AM.