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Sunday, January 19, 2003

...all the small things...

Another lazy Sunday morning. Of course, I rarely do any homework on Sundays because I am extremely lazy (except maybe history essays...) however since it's a long weekend, perhaps I will make an exception and get the week's math homework done. I did all the other work, and even finished the book we're reading in English. It was a pretty stupid ending, but whatever, now I'm done.

I seriously think I go to sleep too early on weekends. At least comparitively to the rest of my family. I usually get to sleep about 10:30 or 11:00, and the problem is then I wake up at about 7. I have to remain completely quiet until the rest of my family awakens. This is usually a good two hours. What the hell can you do for two hours? I read the book for English, looked obsessively at pictures, and of course, listened to my iPod. My family has not complained yet about the mysterious little "click click click" that happens every time I scroll up or down on the iPod. Hopefully they cannot hear it. This morning I was looking through my playlists, and I decided to listen to some Blink 182, since I have not in a while. I played Adam's Song, since I have rarely listened to it the whole way through. People say it depresses them. Personally, I think it's a quite happy song comparitively to others. It's not the best song ever, it's a bit long and repetitive, but the fact that it's about suicide does not make it sad. "Iris" by Goo Goo Dolls depresses me completey every time, however, I love that song too. Much much more than Adam's Song. I don't think Blink 182 is particularly good at expressing saddening or heartwarming emotions. I think they are better at songs like "Happy Holidays You Bastard." Maybe I just like perverted songs.

Anyway not to bore you or anything, but I think it's much more depressing when one (or more) of my close friends tell me that they want to kill themselves. So far I've got a perfect record; none of my friends are dead. However, I sometimes have the feeling that I will not escape my teenage years without one of my friends taking their life. It's quite hard to help someone like that. You're supposed to tell people. The truth is, people usually know. You can usually sense if there is something incredibly wrong with someone. Not always though. I'm hoping the people around me are better now, although I know that it's something that will never go away completely.

People should learn to take themselves less seriously. That would make the world a better place. Obviously there's plenty of people who don't take themselves seriously enough and end up doing stupid stuff and paying for it. But it seems that everyone is way too wrapped up in themselves. Life tends to go on, you know. Unless of course you kill yourself, as mentioned in the previous paragraph. You know what else? Religion pisses me off. It bothers me. I don't mind if people want to believe what they want to believe, obviously everyone is entitled to their own opinion of course, but it seems to be a bit heavy here. The coins of this stupid country say "in god we trust." Isn't that a bit harsh? What if you don't believe in gods? What if you don't believe in God, but you believe in other gods. Then you're screwed and oppressed. Have a happy life.

mo posted at 9:21 AM.