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Thursday, August 05, 2004


Goths piss me off. Especially because they are the identical counterpart to preps, except they wear darker makeup, darker clothes, and have higher suicide rates and don't listen to rap. And they're fatter. American goths make me angry because if you're going to go to all that trouble to look precisely how you want to, with all your blue eye makeup and black lipstick, you'd think they would make their bodies look slightly nicer. Then again, my overriding theory is that today's goth exists precisely because people are fat.

remember how wearing black has a slimming effect?

Hilary Duff wears black lately because she thinks she looks a bit chunky (I'm not even going to get into that discussion right now).

But anyway, goths piss me off a bit, because they're also the ones pushing the whole suicide fad (it's so cool to kill yourself! cuz no one actually ever succeeds!) and none of them actually ever DIE, because they're too wimpy to either go through with it, or they aren't depressed to begin with and they're just pretending.

So I guess my main complaint is that goth suicide rates AREN'T HIGH ENOUGH.

Think about it this way: if they killed themselves, we would have fewer of them to deal with. Right?

And you know how suicidal tendencies run in the family? Well if we just let them kill themselves off in the face of the most trying and terrible experience of their life (i.e. being an angsty teen), they wouldn't reproduce, and their genetic tendency would die off. It's a Darwinian thing, survival of the fittest -- doesn't it make sense that you're not the fittest if you're trying to kill yourself off?

I haven't gotten to anorexics yet, I'm getting there.

mo posted at 11:40 AM.